for what it might be worth

...I'm sorry...

I know you don't like hearing me repeat it but I want to say it again and again only because I really feel bad about it. It's not that I want you to say you forgive me, or hold my hand and tell me it's alright. I really really feel bad about myself.

Last night, I waited for you, tried my best to stay awake and d othe things I should be doing. And when you called to say that you were heading out with Bubblez, I sat on the bed to answer the call and that was the killer. Decided to wait for your call but forgot about the time to I should call to see how you were. Thought you might be driving still etc, and also simply overlooking the stupid fact that not that much time was needed. I'm sorry...

And after you called me to say you were home, I fell alseep soon. but in that awkward position of half-sitting. Woke up at 6am to find myself thirsty, and lower back aching... sigh... I don't know how else, but I feel a strong need to verbally express how I feel. I honestly don't feel good, I feel I've let you down. I'm sorry...