This Sunday

Time: 720AM. Just made myself a hot cup of coffee. Nothing like a hot cup of coffee on a cold and frosty morning. Okay, well... maybe a morning hug from Shar would be more preferable. =P

It felt happy and good to be shopping with Shar yesterday night. Thank you for waiting outside the changing room for me. Heh, you're SWEET~~~ Rumour has it that you bought a top with.... little silver bells.... urmm pls confirm... Bells?? Now how is that gonna get washed? Heh, realised last night. You know what's the most important stuff that has to be in our kitchen fridge next time? Nope, isn't chocolates, not ice-cream, not cheese, not cakes but.... oh my, all these start with a C.... Ok, never mind.... I was saying, it's Panadol! Yes, sad to say, we both can't do without it. Looked at you sleeping in the passenger seat while I was driving towards Bedok. Shar, you're beautiful. Though it looked like an uncomfortable position to sleep in, there you were- serene and resplendent. So lovely~~~ If I weren't driving, I would have leaned over and ran my hands over your hair and pale face. Lol~ I know now that getting to see you before I close my eyes to sleep, and waking up to your delicate face would be a merry blessing.

*Pause* This is where I'm supposed to START drinking the now-cooled cup of coffee. Why do I always forget?

This Sunday, today, this morning...... For the first time in my life, I will be attending Sunday church service. Afraid? Yes, a little. But Shar has bravely decided to be with me on this. Happy? Yes, quite abit because I've always thought of attending church but never had the opportunity. I've always questioned "am I ready?", "do I want to?", "am I unclean?". If I could file for bankruptcy for 2 lifetimes being fined for the counts of racist comments I have made, I have muttered an equal amount, if not more, of profanities. As I stared at the silverish morning sky that stretches in the direction of the church I shall be heading to, I feel Shar was right. *As Usual hiak hiak* A cleanup in language would be pleasant. But you do know the consequences of that right? Metallica and Iron Maiden will not be inviting me to join them. Ever. Oh hell, like they ever would. Not that I want to. For the things I've done, and the words I speak, they make me feel kinda unclean, which is why I've always avoided ALL places of worship of any religion. But I suppose that itself is the biggest obstacle in the way, isn't it? Abandon yourself to Him, and find Whom you seek. I dunno. Aren't people always cocky and proud of championing human reason and logic? To be rational, scientific and inquisitive. It kinda feels like one of those confidence camp things where you are supposed to trust your "friends" and fall into their arms. I feel that. To stop walking on this ledge for it is said that it leads to nowhere, and I have to jump onto another road. Only that I can't see any forms of support awaiting me. It would take alot of guts and faith to do that. Either those, or alot of alcohol.

I can't say I will be able to do it from now on. But at least, for today, this Sunday 23rd October 2005, I want to, and look forward to attending church. Thank you for going with me Shar! =) Oh look! 23rd!!!! 5 more days? Heh~