An Intellectual Correspondence

To :

Great Flips


It is with great pleasure that I sit here in my endeavor to humbly pen a letter to you, O fearless leader who led the Soviets to countless victories over certain oppressors who shall remain anonymous. Since my rash and ignorant years at the university, it has long been my vain wish to initiate a correspondence, one hopefully of an intellectual basis, with one such as you whose reputation and knowledge far surpasses any distance your mighty flippers can cover. Therefore, O Great Flips, I do imagine you can understand the trepidation and elation that courses through me right now. In all your magnificence, allow me to give thanks and convey my gratitude that such chance and grace has been bestowed upon me, for I hold in my paws this wonderful opportunity to correspond with one of such overwhelming stature such as you.

In the fashion of all intellectual correspondences I have come across in my years of studying plebeian and priggish authors, I have religiously tried to fabricate as duplicitous and magniloquent a letter as I in all my inept ways can vainly attempt. O Alas, if this letter does pester you much like an incessant Victorian fly, then it has accomplished its primary mission. O Great Flips, fearless leader of Mother Russia, let it be made known that it is also within my diffident intention to, amid your harrowed and arduous undertakings, amuse you and in words and faith accompany you.

As with all enterprises that commence high and mighty, I fear this may yet turn out to be another similar rotten apple- all plush and grand on the outside but hollow within. Well, at least there may be maggots I hope. I say this not in jest, Great Brandisher of Claws. For time is not in my favor as I write this, and this petrified poohie personage grows not petrified but sleepy. Fortunately or not, this author has eyelids that seem to be constantly putting on incredible amounts of weight. However, the author does very much indeed enjoy writing this, especially to those dear and close to his pooh heart.

I recall that correspondences of such disposition must not be frivolous and trivial, therefore I shall bear that in mind not to indulge in minute inconsequential aspects of my life. Instead, I beseech you to sapre your precious time and join me in examining this matter of grave importance, this business we call Love.

As the author sits comfortably in his armchair, merry thoughts flashed of his loved one and how they manage to come to meet each other in this sea of confused entities. There are of course the occasional silly boyish giggles and careless moments when romantic thoughts slip most unintenionally into indulgent fleeting lewd fantasies. These are, I assure you, promptly dealt with.

Forgive me and spare the claws, for I have digressed. This intoxicating business we label as love has been pronounced as one of the most important in our line of work and association- in literature. And rightly so, may I add, as personal experience bears witness. There is one particular lady I fancy very much and hold her most particularly close to my heart. It is over much deliberation and extrapolation that this dim author has, once again, realise the vast emptiness and imperfection his life would most surely entail should he ever lose her.

Time and circumstances flow in unfathomable ways, and the author comprehends that to maintain and ensure a blissful relationship, effort has to be put in. He yearns very much, every day, to be so privileged to be given the chance to do so. The rest he leaves to God's Hands and pray they share a life together, rich or poor, happy or sad.

ps: in case you are interested to know, Great Leader, this lady the author fancies fervently is one of extraordinary disposition and character. May I also add that the author descibes her beauty as not merely skin-deep but innate. As such, the author has declared most stubbornly that her beauty is one of permanence, at least it will always be to him.


Yours Faithfully

PP
Head of countless unimpressive departments of the adminstration of Great Flips