The M.O. of a SOB

To begin to understand the patterns and habits of a SOB, one must first know, just what exactly is a SOB? Fortunately, this site undertakes this daunting task of attempting to unravel the mysteries of that perplexing question. So, what is a SOB? Or rather, what does SOB stand for? The inventor of the term was contacted for an interview but it was unfortunate that he actually forgot what it stood for, and instead had to seek help from his trusty companion, the once-in-a-while SOG. As we found out, SOB is an abbreviation that stands for Submissive Obedient Boyfriend. The percentage of them still in existence is quite uncertain, especially in tropical countries such as Singapore where ah-bengs and ah-peks litter the streets and kopitiams. As some discerning readers might have already guessed correctly, a SOG is thus the female version of the SOB, that being a Submissive Obedient Girlfriend.

What is a likely M.O. of a SOB then? In other words, how does this weird brain tick? After tedious documentation and research, we are still quite puzzled by it's logic & reasoning, and especially it's feeding habits. Although one fact is for certain: it is constantly hungry.

A SOB would most likely love to spend an immense obscene amount of time around the female companion, even if the female is not in SOG mode. Sometimes, it becomes almost irritating- like a fly buzzing round yes. Yet, it is fairly quick to distinguish them from normal houseflies as they most likely have some physical tags for easy identification, such as ear piercing, or attempted styling of the hair to look cool, or quirky spectacles. However, if the hair is identified to be truly cool, most likely a very capable female is in the vicinity as only high-level SOGs can blow-dry and style really impressive SOB-bish hair. SOBs also like to sing for the female companion, or tell zany stories to.

A SOB would also most likely keep kissing the shoulders or hair of the female companion. Their preoccupation with that is, at present, still not within our realm of understanding and explanation. What we know is that SOBs love the fragrance, that sweet alluring fragrance on the female. They are also very very impressed and mesmerized by the SOG. Sometimes, they might be seen worshipping her, and enjoy her witty words, her cute gestures, the child in her, the mega-watt smiles, and the batting eyelids. The SOG manages to come up with very endearing terms and words which the SOB will fondly remember. Some of the less-common terms include, shortening a bottle of vodka to "bodka", combining hatch-planning-ploy to "plotching" and calling blogs "bogs" that give to it a completely new and radical perspective.

SOBs would also savor and remember very fondly outings with the SOG, such as attending birthday social functions together, or chalet stays. SOBs would find chalet stays with the female companion heavenly because it means a long time period of confinement and solace with her. Quality time. He would find it sweet and blissful to share simple things with her such as watching vcds and dvds of shows they enjoy and like, such as De-Lovely and urmm Initial D. He would also actually find it blissful and happy to be given the chance to let the female companion have the bathroom first, run out onto yellow brick roads filled with radioactive adolescents to get pizzas and evian and ice-cream. When a SOB was interviewed, he stated it was difficult to put into words the kind of joy and bliss experienced everytime she rests her head on him, or cuddles him tightly. He claimed he felt almost... grateful. Grateful for someone so divine who chose to walk through so much with someone as filthy as he. There were also unconfirmed rumors that SOBs could sometimes be found sleeping on their tummies, but only because SOGs have been heard to lie down and talk on the phone on their tummies too. The fool of a SOB also added that to be able to come out from the showers smelling abit similar to the female companion was wonderful. It could only be said to be similar because nobody could smell as good as the female companion. However intelligent, or witty, or enjoyable their conversations and exchanges are though, one thing that would always puzzle them is the existence of the mythical invisible ink chop on hands. One of the favourite pastimes and memory a SOB would hold is that he was fortunate enough to be able to cuddle her to sleep, wake up to see her beside him, pat her to sleep, steal kisses from her in the still of the night and get his cheeks mysteriously brushed by her. Most of all, he is thankful he gets to tell her how much he loves her, every single day and night. And he simply loves cooking for her, and her alone simply because she enjoys his cooking.

Although current studies are not adequately advanced, one thing is for sure. A SOB can only be happily found and exist alongside an equally happy SOG. They operate in a pair... They are singular as a couple... =)