World Tour

As I sit here breathing in the cheap aroma of Lipton Tea which is what KT could only afford, I ponder over what I had wanted to express (having been interrupted last night by an uncooperative scribe who claimed he was being attacked by some fuzzy little creature with muffly arms called a Dormio monster of sorts).

Now that my dictator (in all sense of the word) is back, I can take my time to tell my fans my thoughts and feelings.

Yes, as some of you may have noted, in a rather disappointed manner myself included, the oscars are not gonna show me favor this time round. I don't get it. I really don't. These days, hard work just isn't enough, or should I say hard work isn't even necessary anymore. I mean, look at the celebs nominated. What work is there? I slog and give my all to Hollywood but there is no recognition whatsoever. I'm sure James Dean would agree with me. Yeah well, I'm sorta fan of his. Yes, we're rebels without a cause. Hell *beep*, I'm sick and tired of it all and im fu****g *beep beep beep* out of here. Fame only disappoints and as Ziyi Zhang would say, it only seems to take me further from the things I want.

At least maybe singing hasn't let me down, and so hasn't my legion of fans. And might I add that now I'm into counselling, my fan base has grown to include heavyweight names like Bruce and maybe even Britney, Nicholas and Douglas. Though I don't think I'm ready for stuff that is too intensive like anger management, child manangement and sex addiction. This is a mad world.

Well, I digress. KT has recently pointed out that we should start planning for a world tour, or at least just to one or two countries. Yes well, of course we know one or two countries don't constitute a bl**dy *beep* world. But heck, everyone calls it a world tour now so why can't we? KT thinks with the popularity I enjoy in Asian countries, perhaps I could consider these places. Apparently, certain bookshops have been selling models of me and I'm highly impressed and appreciative. At least, some people still have good taste. KT also added that Japan might be a good place. He claimed that teenagers would scream and adore me because of my looks. Too bad I don't have underwear to throw to fanatics.

Mount Fuji! Here I come! Ziyi Zhang! Here I... oops right sorry... the sad underpaid scribe just whispered rather impolitely that Ziyi Zhang ain't quite Japanese, and I didn't get her name right either. Oh hell.. I mean oh well.... What the *beep beep* ... Getting non-Japanese to play a geisha.. sheesh... Right anyway, Japan, with all its beauty might beckon me with her white make-up and red lips.

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Scribe who claims is not being paid enough but not in fact thus shall not be named even